First off I must mention the outfits tonight because the costume department is really out doing themselves this season. Randy had on a cardigan sweater with a huge “R” on the front and back and his bright red Ronald McDonald shoes. JLo had on a mini-dress of course that was see-through except where they had strategically placed beads. Then there was Steven. He was dressed all in silver. There were times when he would bend over and he would suddenly and without warning have boobs! The only explanation to this is that he was wearing a women’s shirt. Not that I’m really surprised by this.
We are getting closer and closer to naming a winner for season 10. You can tell because they are drawing out the show more and more and tonight was the first night of duets. Tonight’s theme (in keeping with their desire to draw in a younger crowd) was the music of Carole King. #snorefest. Not one person sang a song that was written after 1971 tonight. I don’t really have anything against her songs or her, I even like some of them but according to Wikipedia she hasn’t had a single chart in the US even close to the top 10 since 1980? That has to be a mistake right? No? Well then…..
is American Idol!
First up is Jacob in a very bright Fonzworth Bently type outfit. He sang “Oh No, Not My Baby”. I’ve never heard this song and my life would not be changed if I never heard it again. I can’t honestly remember one thing about him tonight except the outfit. Can you? I didn’t think so. With the combination of #1 spot and being totally forgettable I think Jacob is next to go.
Second tonight is Lauren. She took on another song I don’t know, “Where You Lead”. She got a visit from her idol, Miley Cyrus. She was actually more boring than Jacob because her outfit wasn’t as fun. They pulled some random guy up on the stage for her to sing to but it was awkward for everyone. Again, I don’t remember anything else about her.
Now we get our first duet of the night. It’s Casey & Haley singing “I Feel the Earth Move”. Finally hopefully something entertaining! Apparently these 2 are dating? They giggled and told us how they shared the love of growling in the intro. They didn’t end up singing very good or growling very much. Boo! What is going on Idol? What a boring show.
Up third is Scotty. He was singing a song I actually know , “You’ve Got a Friend”. He didn’t hold is mic like a flute or make too many faces. He also gave his best performance to date. My daughter was sad because he didn’t sing in his low voice tonight but Randy called him flawless and I’m sure Steven thought it was beautiful.
Next up was James. 2 weeks ago I said I felt pressured to like him and just didn’t. Well, I’m liking him more and more each week. I’m not sure if I finally get it or he’s just done pretty well the last few weeks. He sang “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”. At one point when he was singing JLo was shaking her head back and forth really fast like he had somehow transferred his tourettes to her. Randy declared James the winner and ran up on the stage to hug him. That’s not how it works dawg. Randy doesn’t have a very good track record in this department so I’m sure he just ruined any chance James had to win. Steven shared with everyone that this song was playing the first time he made out with a girl. My husband chimed in, “Oh yeah? But how about the first time you made out with a dude?”
Duet #2 came from Scotty & Lauren who sang “Up On the Roof”. In their video package the question guy asked Lauren how they complemented each other. Lauren’s answer? “He has never complemented me!”. Oh Lauren. It’s a good thing you’re cute and can sing because you are the stupidest contestant since Kellie Pickler. They were extremely boring too. They sat there the whole time apparently “up on the roof”? JLo told Lauren that she “sang her brains out”. I’m not sure she really had any “brains” to sing out but in a moment of confusion it looked like JLo was going to say “sang her boobs out” but stopped herself. Really JLo? She was pretty boring. I don’t think she sang her brains or boobs out.
Right after the commercial break they show Steven with some random little girl sitting in his lap. Who is this kid and why did she just appear? Anyway, Casey is up next singing “Hi-De-Ho”. Once again Casey puts everyone else to shame and makes them look like children. He know exactly what to sing and how to sing it. He threw in a lot of growling and humfing. Also didn’t they just give this dude a haircut a week ago? It’s all grown back already! Who is he, Teen Wolf? Of course the judges loved it. It even made Steven’s scalp itch.
The last solo of the night was Haley who sang “Beautiful”. She sounded fine but for some reason Randy wasn’t really feeling it, unlike Steven who claimed to have seen and heard God while she sang.
Up last was the most WTF paring for a duet ever. James & Jacob singing Herman’s Hermits “I’m Into Something Good”. I am not making this up. They both wore white pants and dark jackets and tried to sexually assault JLo. It was so random, awful & fantastic all at once.
What a craptastic show tonight! However, Steven had quite a night tonight with growing a pair of boobs, remembering his first time making out, having a random little girl on his lap, his scalp itching and seeing & hearing God. What’s the number to call and vote for him?