Tonight I had an exciting night of counting how many times Lil Mama and Shane Sparks said “y’all” on America’s Best Dance Crew. More importantly, today is also the day that around 500,000 people swarm towards downtown Columbus for the yearly nightmare known as Red, White & Boom (RWB). Rae, Zoe and I watched the fireworks on TV. I hate going downtown to actually watch them in person. I’m so scared of fireworks. I always think they are going to stay lit and fall directly on top of me, catch me on fire and cause me to make a scene. I hate almost everything about RWB. The coverage officially began at 8 PM. However, NBC has been hyping the second coming of Jesus RWB up for at least a month, if not more. People start getting downtown so they can get “the best seat in the house” at around the crack of dawn. If you really don’t have a life you get there the night before to camp out. Because people start getting there so early they have to have overpriced food, moronic games and bad music available so people don’t lose their minds and start killing each other from boredom. When the 2 hour countdown began one of the girls from NBC, complete with her popped collar, did a thrilling story about the “rich history” of the Santa Maria replica. I’m sure they know that this wasn’t the actual ship that Columbus sailed on but they weren’t really acting like they did. They showed us where Columbus ate his meals and where he had his meals prepared. NBC also kept our minds sharp by asking deep thought provoking questions such as “What is your favorite patriotic song?” , “What is your favorite holiday food?” and “How many times is Hakuna Matata said in the Lion King?”. They of course urged us to vote for our favorites. I was having so much fun trying to figure out which food I liked best and what I liked to listen to most while I ate, that I almost didn’t notice those 2 hours crawl by . I went to a graduation party once that was so boring. One of my friends and I decided that if we were ever told we had 1 day to live we would ask this friend to throw us a party because it would seem like the longest day of our lives. Perhaps this friend of ours put together the pre-show too. But, I digress.
They always match up a soundtrack to go with the fireworks. This year they included such patriotic songs as, Vertigo by U2, See You Again by Miley Cyrus and Please Don’t Stop the Music by Rihanna. I’m sure just thinking about these songs makes your chest swell and your eyes tear up with pride.
We’re going to go somewhere tomorrow night to watch fireworks in person because Zoe wants to. Last year we went to Gahanna to watch theirs. All the “good” spots were taken so the police herded us into a close graveyard to watch them. I don’t think I’d like to sit on top of a grave again this year. Maybe we can find a better place.
By the way. I’m sure you all won’t be able to think of anything else until I tell you the answers to all those brain teasers.The favorite song is “God Bless the USA. The favorite food is Corn on the Cobb. Hakuna Matata is said 25 times and most importantly, Lil Mama just edged out Shane Sparks for most usage of the word “y’all”. 51-46.